I have always ebbed and flowed in my own femininity or what I thought being “feminine” was supposed to seem like. Just as I started to enter my “womanhood” I also started to really exhibit and experience the symptoms of PCOS (PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome). Unbearable menstrual cycles, a bloated midsection, a receding hairline, and excess hair on my face are a few of the symptoms I started to have. Internally this change combined with some other not-so-pleasant experiences led to my shut down to any connection I had to my internal divine feminine version of myself. I really bought into the idea for a time that maybe I was weaker and less worthy. All this because I was not a beautiful and thin woman.

Fast forward 10 years and I am finally in a position of acceptance and treatment of my PCOS. I wanted to share with you seven activities that have helped me get to this point. As well as reconnecting with my Divine Feminine. Since beginning to practice these activities I have begun to feel like my true self for the first time in my entire adult life.

Allow Yourself to Experience Pleasure. Now when I say it is time to let yourself experience pleasure I am not just talking about the sexual kind (although when was the last time you really let yourself experience that pleasure with no bounds or fear of judgment too?) I am talking about all sorts of pleasures we as women hold back on because of the fear of being judged. Like laughing out loud and uncontrollably in public, having our favorite dessert and hanging on to each bite, or allowing yourself to sing your favorite song at the top of your lungs and dance like nobody’s watching. These simple pleasures are just a small example of ways we unintentionally or internally block our Divine Feminine from thriving.
Be Kind to Yourself. I have had my fair share of bullies in my life as a student of a public school, a former fashion industry employee, and someone whose career is largely putting themselves on the internet. Do you want to know who the worst bully I have ever had was? Myself. Up until a very recent shadow work exercise. I had been beating myself up mentally daily since I was 10 or 11. Taking the time to see how truly terrible I was being to myself really opened my eyes. I would never let one of my clients or friends talk to themselves this way- why should I have a different rule for myself? Becoming aware of this behavior has allowed me to intercept negative thoughts as they come to my mind, and replace them with kinder thoughts or scenarios.

Practice Patients. I am an Aries, so by nature not the most patient of people. Not necessarily with others, but I definitely have a hard time giving myself a break. Recently as previously discussed in my shadow work blog post I have been having some rather intense period issues (hello bleeding for over 140 days). As the days continued and I continued to bleed my frustrations with my body got worse and worse. Then one day on TikTok I saw a fellow lightworker talking about how instead of getting mad at our bodies we should ask what it needs to feel better, what would help this discomfort to pass. I had never thought about asking my body what it needed, and when I did start listening I began being able to manage my pain much more effectively and proactively.

Decorate Your Temple. Do your hair, nails, toes, makeup. Do not be afraid to go as glam (or as natural) as you feel called to. Want a new tattoo or piercing? DO IT! Decorate your body, your temple however you very damn well, please! I have provided my favorite “getting ready” song Nails, Hair, Heels by Todrick Hall to get you started.

Find Empowering Figures to Inspire Your Day to Day. For my last two birthdays, I have chosen Goddess-like figures that I want to base my inspiration for the year on. Last year I chose The Virgin Mary because of her power and influence over my life as a young girl being raised in the Roman Catholic Church. This year I chose the Hindu Goddess Kali- she is the feminist icon we all need. Kali is the boundless feminine freedom and harness rage I wish to unleash within myself.
Of course, your inspirations do not have to be of a godlike stature. You can choose to research and learn about another powerful feminine icon who made an impact in a field or industry you are interested in. The options are endless!
Surround Yourself With a Strong Support Group. Make an effort to reach out to your friends on a regular basis. I know this can be hard especially when you feel like you do not deserve to have friends who love you unconditionally when you are not able to love yourself unconditionally. But it is crucial to have a strong group of friends and they don’t even just need to be female but a strong group of friends that you can be yourself with. A strong group of friends will make you feel supported love incapable of achieving whatever you want to achieve. I will not judge you where you have been where you are or where you’re going in your journey of divine femininity.

Reconnect With Mother Nature. Reconnecting with Mother Nature has been one of the most important parts of my journey back into my Divine Feminine. At first, I started with one mile morning walks with my playlist blaring into my ears. One morning I forgot to charge my phone so I had to take my morning walk in silence- or what I thought would be silent. Turns out mother nature had a lot to say to me through the breeze gently shaking the tree leaves, the birds tweeting to greet the morning Sun and my breaths as I walked. These morning walks give me an opportunity to explore part of my mind that I covered up with loud noises and thoughts. I have been able to reconnect with myself slowly began to peel back layers of upset and hurt to reveal bright shining, raw exquisite elegance that is my Divine Femininity.
If you think you may have PCOS or a hormonal imbalance make sure to bring this up to your physician as soon as possible. (Your health and any symptoms you are (experiencing even beyond PCOS) should always be taken seriously. The sooner you are able to accept, get a diagnosis and start treatment the sooner you will begin to heal your body and prevent future damage.)